Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sitting Hens Do Not Lie in Green Grass

I abhor triteness and banality, especially those phrases so often used that they almost seem to lack meaning altogether. If there's one cliche I can get behind, though, it's this: "Treat others the way you'd like to be treated."

I'm sure it seems pedantic to be writing a blog post about something Jesus said like a hundred years ago, but I just couldn't allow myself to let my worthy adversary go unopposed. We have essential differences, and I'm always right. Like that argument we got into when we worked at the bagel place together in high school: she said the boss would prefer sloppy work done as quickly as possible, I said he would rather have it done right. Guess who won that one?

Anyway, I'll be the first to admit it: there are a LOT of people in this world. Probably at least a million. So what do you think would happen if everyone was allowed to run rampant doing whatever they pleased?

Most likely it would be a lot like living with a certain friend of mine. Make-up stains and dirty tissues polluting all the counters. Globs of sour cream and fish scales trailing across the kitchen floors. Everyone would be eating out of garbage cans and interrupting each other. Life would be chaos! Nothing would ever get done!

It just wouldn't make any sense.

I've personally discovered that we're all born with a responsibility to not get in each others way as much as possible. In other words, we must get in each others way as little as possible. It may not be easy, it may not be fun, but it's right. Statistics say that if at least 50% of people acted with little or no disregard for 100% of people, 75% of all people would be miserable! And that's not fair.

So the next time you're out in public having a quiet conversation with a friend and some out of control stranger bursts in with an undue interruption, just look up at them with a blank smile on your face while your partner grudgingly agrees to comply with them. Consider it your duty to humanity.

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